Over the pass three weeks I have learn a lot about myself. Now it was not new learning but what I might call a refresher course. No, I didn't learn anything new, I guess I just became conscious of certain realities of life because of challenges that I faced.
I was reminded that the body is a very tough but fragile home. That when it is attacked, wounded, it rushes to the spot and uses all its strength to protect, comfort and heal what has been wounded, but this wound can also change, weaken and disrupt the normal flow, pace and the living of life.
I learned that no matter where or how you hurt, whether it be physical, emotion or spiritual everything else is affected. Our bodies are a whole, not just individual parts. If one part has a problem the rest are affected. St. Paul's words about the body have been very present to me these days, "As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body though many, are one body...God has constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it..." (1 Corinthians 12:12-26). Now Paul was not just talking about our human body but also about the Body of Christ, but over these past few weeks the human side of Paul's words have been very present to me.
Now let me put this into context for you. I will not go into all the details because it will be more than you need to know. Three weeks ago today I had surgery for a hernia. Millions of people have this surgery and for many, like me, it is not major or an emergency, it is just something that has to be done, a part of the body that needs some repair. So you figure, go have it done, get in get out and move on with life just like nothing happened. But the doctor said something to me the other day that I just had not thought of, what he did in operating on me was wound my body. Now it was a controlled wound, but a wound! When one part suffers, all suffer! My wounded abdomen suffered and as a result the rest of my body suffered too, in many different aways. My body was forced to change, things got disrupted, thrown off, and all or at least most of the parts where affected. My life as I try to live it each day was changed, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I now know why people bargin with God when they hurt because I uttered many, "God if you just...I will...for the rest of my life!" over the past few weeks.
I am now profoundly aware for just how great a woman my mother is given all she has gone though over these recent years of her 90+ years life. Her body has been wounded in many different ways yet she opens her eyes each day and lives as best she can. My controled little wound pails in comparison yet no matter how small when something about you suffers, you suffer and it takes time, energy, paticence and focus. It is a reminder of the difficulty that many experience each day because of their struggles, their wounds whether they be physical, emotional or spiritual. When one suffers, we all suffer if we are truly people of faith!
I think the final thing that I have learned over these past three weeks is that I am not John Wayne, Dirty Harry, Captain Kirk or even Leroy Jethro Gibbs! Wounds do stop me! When things are not right with me, I am not right! I am fragile, vulnerable and human. Wounds make me stop and think. Wounds make me cry. Wounds make me struggle and not always be my best. But wounds do heal and when that day comes all of me will share the joy!
Just to update you, I am healing. I have been cleared to run again, though that part has been a slow process and I am at least back working of the things of life again. Thanks to all who sent thoughts and prayers...I look forward to my first five mile run soon!
Also over the weekend I watched the Chicago Marathon and kept track of a friend running the Steamtown Marathon in Scranton, PA. Congrats, to all who ran. I was truly touched by some of the events of the Chicago Marathon. It seems that during the race one man died, just 500 yards for the end, but that shortly after the race a baby girls was born to a mother who had run. The mystery of life that often a marathon reminds us of not always in such a profound ways but none the less marathons are often jounreys into the mystery of life. My prayers go out to the family and community who lost a son, husband, father, firefighter and friend and to the family who welcomed the gift of new baby girl!
Well friends that is all for now...Peace in Christ's Passion...Fr. Paul
