Friends in the Passion,
I am not a person who usually complains out loud. I often think about complaining or commenting about what someone else has written or said, but I rarely write the letter or add the comment. My process is to argue with myself about the issues and problem of faith and life. As I said, rarely do I put my struggles into writing. However, today I am breaking that rule and writing in search of some answers, though I think I already know the answers.
In a little over a month we as Catholics will begin the use of the Third Typical Edition of the Roman Missal at mass. It will be a time for all of us, whether priests, deacons, religious or lay to pause, put our heads into the book and learn a new way of celebrating mass together. On a number of levels this is not a bad idea. I think it is always good to change, to take a look at what you are doing to see how you might do it a little better, to look at where you might have become a little lax or lazy. Not having something committed to memory makes you stop and think about what is it you are saying, what it is you are doing and how you are praying. You might say, we need to check ourselves as priests, deacons, religious and lay people from time to time as we come together to pray.
These are all good things from my point of view. I can put it on "automatic pilot" just like anyone and that is not the best way to pray, to celebrate. Throughout my priesthood I have always tried to celebrate the Eucharist like it is my "first" and "last" mass, but I am human and I have failed at times. So stopping and look at the way I celebrate, pray and lead people in prayer is certainly a good thing!
However, as we have made our way up to this introduction of the Third Typical Edition of the Roman Missal some things have begun to concern me. Recently, a priest from a nearby diocese shared a letter that was sent out by his bishop about the implementation of this edition of the Roman Missal that we will use beginning on the First Sunday of Advent. From my reading the bishop seemed to be inferring that my generation of priesthood is invalid. Now, he did not use those words but you can read it underneath the words he does use. We "experimented," "added" or "changed" words, we took "liberties," we made "alterations." His words infer that we did not learn it right and that over the last 25 to 50 years we have disrespected the mass by the way we have celebrated it. As one member of my community said the hierarchy and this new generation of priests think that we are the lost generation of priests!
The rational for these changes is that because of all the abuses by priests of my generation that people wrote into him and complained and it was not just a few. Really! Well I have been a priest now for over 25 years and I would have to put the comments in the thousands of people who thanked me for the beautiful, holy, inspiring and meaningful masses that I have celebrated with them. Why is it that only the complaints are heard by the powers that be?
This school of thought, this way of being church angers me. I have worked very hard throughout my theological training and after ordination to understand the liturgy, its history, its changes and its place in the life of the Church. As a Catholic, a Passionist, and a priest, I see the Eucharist as the center of my life. The rule and constitutions of the Congregation of the Passion call me to deepen my life of faith through the Eucharist. It is the center of who we are as men of faith, as Passionists. It puts us in touch with the memory Christ's Passion a charism we have been gifted with remembering and preaching.
I have always been faithful to my vocation as a priest in celebrating the Eucharist with respect, reverence and a deep love. An older Passionist whom I had the great pleasure of living and working with right after my ordination came to me a few weeks after ordination and he said, "Son, there is not much advice I can give you these days but I will tell you one thing, remember how you felt when you celebrated your first mass a few weeks ago?" I said, "Yes, I was nervous, excited and awed by the experience!" Then he said, "How would you feel if you knew that your mass tomorrow morning was going to be your last?" I said, "I would want it to be the best mass that I have ever celebrated." He then look at me and said "Whenever you celebrate mass, celebrate like it is your first and last mass!" I have never forgotten that advice and while I am human, not perfect, each time I find myself ready to celebrate the Eucharist those words come to mind and rest in my heart.
I have never celebrated the Eucharist with disrespect or irreverent. I greatly value my ordination, my education and my 25 plus years as a Passionist
Secondly, I wish if when the "Top" makes changes that are not consultative that they are transparent enough in telling us why. My guess is that what this whole movement toward the Third Edition of the Roman Missal has been about is the deconstruction of the Second Vatican Council concerning the liturgy. The powers that be want the Latin Mass, the communion rail, communion under one species, the mass to be the personal property of the priest, in other words, everything to back the way it was before 1960's. Well say that! Do not create the hierarchical spin about the authentic translation, a time of renewal, a gift to the church and becoming one again! We are not one. We have more special interest groups in the Church these days then you can shake a stick at. We make special rules for special groups so that they can feel at home. We go out of our way to do things for groups that really do not want to be a part of the Church, unless of course we do it their way, while pushing others out of the Church. My advise to the "Top," be honest, I will not like it but at least I will not feel conned!
Finally, if it was so important to make those who love the Latin Mass so comfortable by expanding its use in the Church over the years will there be the same courtesy for those of us who love the mass as we celebrate it now? Will there be a place or places in each diocese where we can go to celebrate it? Will it be an option if that is what we feel comfortable with? After all it is only fair. You don't want to loose us, right?
Unfortunately, for the most part I do not think the hierarchy cares about me. They have render my priesthood defective, deficient and have devalued my ministry and my life these last 25 years. Yes, I am angry and probably should not be writing these words but do not worry folks, I will not quit, give up, walk away. I will do what I am told, I will be a good soldier, because that is what I have always done. I will get in line and goose step to the changes. I will also continue to celebrate the Eucharist with reverence, respect, passion and love because I want it to be the gift to the community that Jesus meant it to be. I will celebrate each and every Eucharist as if it is my first and my last. It will just be a little harder but I will find a way in spite of them!
However, there is a part of me that would really like to "occupy" something just to get my message heard. What Can I Occupy? Peace in Christ's Passion...Fr. Paul
